I've been running... running the last 3 months.. running away from the truth..living in denial that BabyRaisy and German will have another few good years before they leave..
The last 2 months German was living in agony with maggots attack in his right ear then followed by another round of maggots attack on his paws.. For a moment, we thought that was it.. his time has come.. Doctor said he has lived over the average life span of a German Sheppard and his body is slowly failing hence he is exposed to all kinds of ailment. So his body will not recover as quickly as it would.. The doctor recommended that we should consider putting him to sleep to end his misery.. But time and time he proved us wrong.. as day went, he slowly recovered..
My heart skips with excitement every time I see German in high spirits.. "how can anyone put such a dog to sleep when he has not even given up on himself?" I asked myself.. I lived in doubt as I do not know what is the humane thing to do anymore..
Weeks has past... he is pretty much back to normal... but once in awhile he slows down again... I choose to ignore and deny the fact that he is in pain.. I see the symptoms. But I do not believe it as he is the toughest soldier I've ever met..
But I can no longer lie to myself that things are gonna be ok...the symptoms are every where.. I keep hearing stories about dogs leaving.. everything around me is telling me that the time is near.. I have to let go..
My heart is broken as I watch BabyRaisy frail as the days go by.. She has recently stop eating and drinking and has lost all her desire for everything that she once loved so much..Her sudden tremors frighten me and I can't help but to feel useless as there is nothing I can do but to just look and hold her..
How many more days do I have before the final good bye..
posted by Moiselle's mom