Friday, May 21, 2010

They are slowly leaving...




I've been  running... running the last 3 months.. running away from the truth..living in denial that BabyRaisy and German will have another few good years before they leave.. 

The last 2 months German was living in agony with maggots attack in his right ear then followed by another round of maggots attack on his paws.. For a moment, we thought that was it.. his time has come.. Doctor said he has lived over the average life span of a German Sheppard and his body is slowly failing hence he is exposed to all kinds of ailment. So his body will not recover as quickly as it would.. The doctor recommended that we should consider putting him to sleep to end his misery.. But time and time he proved us wrong.. as day went, he slowly recovered..

My heart skips with excitement every time I see German in high spirits.. "how can anyone put such a dog to sleep when he has not even given up on himself?" I asked myself.. I lived in doubt as I do not know what is the humane thing to do anymore.. 

Weeks has past... he is pretty much back to normal... but once in awhile he slows down again... I choose to ignore and deny the fact that he is in pain.. I see the symptoms. But I do not believe it as he is the toughest soldier I've ever met.. 

But I can no longer lie to myself that things are gonna be ok...the symptoms are every where.. I keep hearing stories about dogs leaving..  everything around me is telling me that the time is near.. I have to let go..

My heart is broken as I watch BabyRaisy frail as the days go by.. She has recently stop eating and drinking and has lost all her desire for everything that she once loved so much..Her sudden tremors frighten me and I can't help but to feel useless as there is nothing I can do but to just look and hold her..  

How many more days do I have before the final good bye..  


posted by Moiselle's mom 



6 comments:

Maggie Mae said...

Hi Zelle's mom, Maggie Mae's mom here,

It is never easy to let go of a beloved pet, after all they are our family. The last 2 years of our first boxer Samantha's life I was filled with the same doubt and uncertainty that you are feeling now. When the time is right to say good by you will know it. In the mean time, love them both, do everything you can for them and lean on Zelle for support. :)
Maggie Mae wants you to know that we are sending luvins and puppy prayers to all of you!

xxoo

hero said...

This is the moment we all dread the most... and the helplessness doesn't help either. Be strong for German and BabyRaisy... you will know when they are ready. Our thoughts are with you.

Licks, hero

Priscilla said...

Oh dear, our prayers and thoughts are always with you. Stay strong too!!!

Anonymous said...

WeiLynn: dont dwell in what you didn't/couldn't do but what you have done......stay strong...we are all here with you...

Bella the Westie said...

Thanks for visiting my blog.
I send you all my love and prayers for you in such a difficult time.
Your new friend Bella.

Aksharaa said...

We are truly sorry to hear about Baby and German. But we believe that they are lucky to have a wonderful family who loves them and will take care of them till the very end.
our love is with you and we pray for strenght for you to overcome difficult days ahead.
wags,
Buddy and Ginger